I ask you:  is there anything better than a sandwich?  I’ll answer for you, too:  No, there is not.  There is a sandwich for every occasion.  There is a sandwich for every mood.   I’m sure right now you’re wondering why in the heck I’m writing about sandwiches.  Well, firstly, because I’m hungry, secondly, because my son asked me this morning why I put peanut butter on both pieces of bread, and thirdly, because you can either throw some stuff between 2 pieces of bread and call it good, or actually create something that you want to eat.

Of course I have a story…  My brother’s favorite sandwich is two slices of the cheapest white bread available (for dissolve in the mouth factor) Miracle Whip, and grape jelly.  I kid you not.  Our mother refused to make this sandwich – that joy got left to me.   My weird sandwich was garlic butter on the bread and then leftover spaghetti as the filling.   The best sandwich in the world is the day after Thanksgiving sandwich that has mayo and gravy and cranberries and turkey and stuffing.  There were words exchanged this last Thanksgiving over some people eating what other people considered the sandwich stuffing.

There was a whole chapter in a Betty Crocker cookbook devoted to sandwich making.  One of the key points was that a thin layer of fat (mayo, butter, peanut butter) seals the bread so that it doesn’t get soggy from soaking  up the moisture from the other ingredients.  Those of us who took tuna sandwiches on white bread to school know exactly what I’m talking about. 

Here are my secrets to sandwich success:

Don’t use the wrong bread!  Grilled cheese is just not the same on wheat bread, and roast beef doesn’t work on a sweet bread. 

The mayonnaise (butter, salad dressing, whatever) is good for holding onto things that tend to slip off like pickles, pickled peppers, or slivers of bell pepper or onion.

Cheese and lettuce  (use something healthy like romaine, or even spinach!) tend not to slip if you slice them.  It’s a little like plate tectonics (see Mr. Fodor?  I learned something!) – if you have a lot of slippery flat things on your sandwich they tend to slide.

If you make a lot of sandwiches for lunch, you can shred your totally dry lettuce and keep it in a zip top bag with all the air removed.  It will last about 5 days.

Crumple meats in a light accordion instead of laying it flat.  I don’t know why this makes a difference, but it does.

Let tuna drain for as long as possible to avoid soggy sandwich syndrome.  This also gives the tuna salad a better, less watered-down taste.

Tomatoes need seasoning, and, IMHO, should not be placed on the sandwich in slices.  Nothing is more attractive than having the tomato skin refuse to break and sliding out to hit you on the chin.  Take a few extra seconds and quarter those slices.

Almost any leftover meat can be finely chopped and mixed with mayo/mustard salt and pepper and used as a filling.  Remember deviled ham in those little cans?  Same principle.  Stuff it into leftover dinner rolls to make yourself feel extra thrifty!

Take a look in your ‘fridge and see what needs to be used.  Those almost empty jars of olives, roasted red peppers, and salad dressing are just begging to be used.

I whole-heartedly recommend the Thanksgiving sandwich.  Jelly and Miracle Whip  is at your own risk.

Is it lunch time yet?