Consider this. It is December 23. All the cookies that I have previously made? Gone. It is a cold and blustery day. The 9" of snow that fell on Friday plus a weekend's worth of flurries and now the freezing rain, have made it a perfect day to stay home and make a few more cookies, and start the baking for the Christmas dinner. My husband has gone off to get more gas for the snow thrower, and some other "mysterious errands".
Kevin and I have already made the Almond Joy Macaroons. He has made a dough for an as of yet untested cookie recipe, and set it outside to rest. We turn off the oven and take a break. After a while we grab the dough and try to shape the cookies. It does not want to cooperate. Tempers flare. The dough gets a bit of water, and we decide to sandwich the colors and make pinwheels. It still does not cooperate. Things get ugly, and the dough becomes a marbled log with green sprinkles on the outside. It goes back outside to firm so we can cut it. I set the oven to preheat, cut the dough into logs, and sit on the couch for just a moment waiting for the oven to heat. I fall asleep. The oven never beeped to say it was preheated. It has died in my sleep.
The first thing I do is look for the manual. It is totally no help. Not only does it cover a range of model numbers (and mine is nowhere to be found), the only suggestion it has for a dead oven is "plug it in" thank you so much. Next I google the problem, and it's probably the heating element. I do not have the emotional strength to disassemble my oven. Oh, and by the way? It's after 5:00. The parts stores are closed for the holiday.
Frantic phone call to husband. He is at an electronics giant, what do I want for Christmas? A stove! I want a stove that works! He says there is one there on sale (knowing full well that I never pay full price for anything) , but he does not like it, but he will pick me up to see if I like it. I do not like it. We drive, in the above mentioned crappy weather, to a warehouse store, where the guy does his best to give us a great deal. Unfortunately, I do not like those stoves, either. I had it in my head that a good stove costs about $400 (yeah, it's been that long). They have something hideous for just over $200, and other models for over $2,000. For $2,000 it had better come with its own food and someone to cook it. The sales guy has me pick my top 3, and they range in price from $647 (the one I could tolerate) to $825 (the one I like best but think should cost about $650). Um..wow. So, I take a deep breath and tell my poor, beleaguered spouse that I don't feel that I have seen all there is to see. He stifles a groan. So, we drive, now, in mall traffic, and he suggests that I jump out of the car and pop into a department store to see if they have anything I like. They do! But it's $719 (discontinued, floor model), and did not have the split oven rack or the cast iron grates. There are still the home improvement stores. I get in the car and Russ gives me the look that says "I am REALLY indulging you here." The drive should take 10 minutes, but it takes 30. We get there I drag him to the back, and we are out of there in 15 minutes with a stove I like (split oven rack? awesome, but not worth $225 (oh and I found it today online for $40!)) for less than $620.
Finally home, we wrestle the giant box up the few steps from the garage to the house, and free it from the shackles of its packaging. I'm hoping that it is plug and play. Russ goes to make the swap, and, of course the coupling is not the same as our old stove. I immediately start to think how I can make chinese takeout look like a festive Christmas dinner. Russ mumbles something and heads to the basement, but I don't pay attention as I'm looking around the kitchen that has trays of uncooked cookies, 2 ovens, and...and... And Russ comes back with a coupling, some tape that he swears is important, and less than 5 minutes later I'm cooking with gas.
I'm thinking Santa just shot one over the bow...
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